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Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa ... You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defence, to be called ‘Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers’ program, or L.A.R.K. for short.In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those citizens personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care. Provided you can weed out the obvious fakes of course.’ ‘Of course.’ Caroline smiled, ‘Maybe if my date doesn’t show I’ll try that.’ Max tried to walk away, but instead she groaned, took a seat next to Caroline and asked, ‘Don’t you think you’re moving a little fast?’ Caroline frowned, ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I mean, yesterday you’re straight, today you’re throwing yourself at anything in a dress? God woman, take it down a gear.’ Max advised. Caroline smiled, ‘That’s good advice, but are you sure you’re not just jealous?’ ‘No!’ Max insisted. ‘Then why does who I’m dating bother you so much? I know you’re not homophobic, you’ll love the gays.’ Caroline pointed out. ‘No, I love gay men. There is a difference.’ Max argued, before quickly pointing out, ‘Not that I’m homophobic, it’s just… I’ve never really connected with anything which fucks women.’ Caroline grinned, ‘What about Earl?’ Max scoffed, ‘He doesn’t count. He’s my favourite stepdad who was never actually my stepdad.’ ‘Meaning.
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